Ouotes

He who rocks the boat seldom has time to row it. -
Bryan Munro

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before. -
Mae West

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. - Oprah Winfrey

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. -
Woody Allen

One must be reasonable in one's demands on life. For myself, all that I ask is: (1) accurate information; (2) coherent knowledge; (3) deep understanding; (4) infinite loving wisdom; (5) no more kidney stones, please. -
Edward Abbey

The world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed. -
Sean O'Casey

A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her.
W. C. Fields

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked. -
Jerry Seinfield

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

Sayings

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese!

When I die I want to die quietly in my sleep like my uncle. Not yelling and screaming like my uncle's passengers.

Remember: "The biggest risk of all is not taking a risk."

There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket.

There are three kinds of men. The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.

After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him... The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut

In my day, you would hear boys boasting, "My dad is better than your dad!" Nowadays they say,. "My computer is better than your computer!"

My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------