Words To Live By

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes.
That way, if he gets angry, he'll be a mile away - and barefoot.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

I have found at my age going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of my face.

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

Always yield to temptation because it may not pass your way again.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

Eat well, stay fit, and die anyway.

No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

Middle age is when broadness of the mind
and narrowness of the waist change places

Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.

There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian
any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.

Experience is a wonderful thing.
It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is
when I'm in the bathroom.

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves
for they shall never cease to be amused.

...............Thank you, from a friend in Ala bama.